But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid you are more valuable to God than a flock of sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
We think we are invincible when we are young. Life seems like it will last forever and has no end, but it does end in this world. Loved ones and parents, the first who held us as we took our first breath, are ever so precious. When my father passed I was only in my thirties and just beginning to have my children and my mother a mere ten years following, I wasn’t ready to let go. None of us were. My father, is distant memory for my daughters they were so young. My mother, they remember her laugh, her kindness and humility, but very little, compared to what could have been. I was unable to understand why they were taken so early and some go on well past and become a pillar for grandchildren and great grandchildren. For my family destiny took another path. For many years and every now and then, there is still a part of me wanting to be with them. The greatest things I miss is having them be a part of my daughter’s lives. Being able to have their guidance and love and journey with us would have been too precious for words. God had other plans, but I was unable at the time to comprehend them. Nor did I desire it. I had faith deep in me but still I was far from His loving embrace and instead in the silent grief of my heart.
The story of salvation reveals to us many truths. In the beginning it tells us Adam and Eve were given God’s love to enjoy all things, except from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But there in the garden, temptation of sin lurked and overtook them. From sin, death came into the world. The story does not end for us because Jesus lived among us and then rose and gave us eternal life. Redemption was a gift. Losing a loved, need not be the end, but a beginning to live a more spiritual life. One that is everlasting, so that we can reunite with those we love. It was at that time of such loss in my life, I turned to prayer, contemplation and church, more closely and things began to make more sense. I felt the restlessness that wanted to dwell in me but a greater desire to grow in God’s love. In the flicker of the light, sometimes we have to push away the darkness with strength we never knew we had. We have to empty the vessel to allow it to be replenished with new love. God was gradually filling me with His grace. He was preparing me. early on, for the kingdom and an eternal life with loved ones. God wanted me to look beyond what our senses can grasp and what is tangible, to something far greater. The prayer of humility gently took away the need I had in this life, to a need of God’s love. I began to understand how to live a more virtuous life. The pains of the past were filled with hope and grace. We can become a vessel of love and know that all will be well with our soul. Time can be a friend but also an enemy and knowing that time spent in cultivating the heart of Jesus in us, can give God glory and us eternal life. A life that has no end.
“Our hearts are restless until they can find rest in you”. Saint Augustine of Hippo
I am the resurrection and the life, says the Lord, he who believes in me shall never die.
Peace and prayers,
Claudia